Look across your life and find a piece that has both a past and a present place. That was your project last week. The focus was to look back and understand the changes between the earlier and current state. What changed, why, how did that change you, can you explain the essence of the place/event/thing that you are reflecting upon and how this aligns to what you now want to be? When I left home it was partly to get away for the sake of getting away and creating my own life, and partly to escape bad influences. Truth is that I wish that I could go home. Romantically, it would be great if I could go back to the town I left; go back to having my family around; go back to the quant, quiet, rural town I left. That isn’t going to happen. That town, the town as I remember it, is a significant part of who I am. So it is that I have settled into the life that I live today and is a huge piece of the spirit in my soul. I can’t go home but I can make a part of my life the town I left and carry it forward with me.
What did your reflection tell you about you, the people in your past, the places in your past and the changes you identified? In some cases, maybe you need to mend fences, maybe you need to accept that the past is the past and let it go, and maybe you can look back and be proud of what you have become. If nothing else, bring yourself some peace of mind and get the past behind you. There is a Chinese proverb that talks of a man travelling from town to town. As he arrives in town, one of the villagers notices he is carrying a variety of rocks with him. The traveler asks the towns person if he can have a drink from their well. The townsperson says of course, please take a drink and fill your flask. As the two are together the townsperson asks the traveler why it is that he is carrying the rocks with him since they don’t appear to be anything special, just ordinary rocks. The traveler pauses, appears to be reflecting on something and then answers that he doesn’t recall why it is that he is carrying the rocks. He tells that ne has carried them so long he has forgotten why. The villager replies that then perhaps he could consider leaving the rocks behind for this will make his travel faster and his burden lighter.
Don’t carry regrets, would of’s, should of’s, or could of’s forward haunting you and stealing your energy. You cannot un-ring the bell. See the past, acknowledge it for what it was, bury it as needed, learn what you can from it, and look forward. Incorporate what is appropriate into your journey and then charge ahead.
This Week’s Talk
After his observation of his younger self and how his sister came to bring him home from the boarding school, the ghost takes Scrooge to a warehouse door. When asked by the Spirit if he knows where he is Scrooge replies “Know it!… I was apprenticed here!.” Scrooge reflects warmly on his old boss Fezziwig. Mostly he recalls with joy the whole experience of his time then, how Fezziwig would bring such joy through his bringing fun and laughter to the workplace. Scrooge got to observe one of their parties. He saw the dancing, the joy of fellowship and got to see himself unconcerned about what others think of his actions. Unincumbered by inhibitions, Scrooge was able to cut loose and have fun in the moment. The spirit gets Scrooge to listen in on a conversation the younger Scrooge and his coworker Dick Wilkins were having around how much fun this was. The ghost asks Scrooge why all the fuss around this event since Fezziwig only spent a few pounds. Scrooge provides a long response: “it isn’t that, Spirit. He has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a pleasure or a toil. Say that his power lies in words and looks; in things so slight and insignificant that it is impossible to add and count’em up; what then? The happiness he gives, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune.”
Coming from a person who is now a greedy, money grubbing, out for himself at any cost person isn’t that an interesting perspective? Seems that there may be a touch of humanity and empathy left in Scrooge. I think we all have someplace that is like this for us. Someplace that has a magical combination of people, the physical place, the work, our coworkers/fellow students…. Some combination that resonated with us. It doesn’t have to be from our youth. Could be even earlier from childhood, could be from early adulthood or even midlife. Who’s to say where your magic moment(s) come from. The point is the universe lines up and things just seem to resonate with you. Maybe there are even multiple times in your life that you felt this way. I loved being in college. Between the joy of learning, my friends, all the newness of being on my own, a nice personable campus, getting to choose my own foods, the excitement of moving closer to graduation…. And I really liked the city I was in. Then, when I moved to Chicago, there were periods where I felt the same. I loved the food scene, identified with the sports teams, liked the architecture… it was clearly “My life” and as much as my life was a struggle it resonated with who I was. If the spirit was to take me back to an “L” platform, drop me off downtown, put me in Wrigley Field… I would think I would have a similar reaction as Scrooge. A Chicago “L” platform is one cold place since in those days they did not have heat. Why does it hold special meaning to me. Because that cold, the need to tough it out, the anticipation of getting someplace on the train and anticipating grabbing a slice of pizza. The fact that the struggle defined me and the city. Same thing if I was taken to Buffalo State’s campus. The library, my dorm building, the local markets and grocery store… riding the bus. All magical. What do I learn about myself looking back at these times? I think both for me, and for Scrooge, multiple aspects of who we are were highly engaged in this time and place. Professional development, personal growth, new foods, discovering new things about yourself; personal, professional, emotional, relationships. I think maybe these special times boil down to simultaneous newness of diversified experiences. None of them have to be highly special but collectively they touch many aspects of who we are and help us see ourselves through the experience. The experiences and who we are align.
This Week’s Assignment
Your assignment for this week is to look over your past and see what resonated enough with you that you would react as Scrooge did. Finding much warm sentiment, joy and personal identification with the people, times, place, nature of the work, culture, environment… Go back through the experience and see what you can learn about yourself. This could be critical in helping you move forward as well as being able to build a life that brings about that same sense of magic. Isn’t that what we all really want? Money and fame are one thing but having a life that makes you sense that you are in a life that you were meant to have, this is irreplaceable.
See you next week…