Imagine that you are diagnosed today with a terminal illness and know that you were going to die in 30 days. That was last week’s introspection to help you reflect on what will you wish you have been, done, seen, experienced….how will you feel about the person you are and have been? What runs through your mind that you wish you could go back and change?  

What did this reflection tell you about the person you were, and the person you currently are? Did it help solidify the who that you want to be? Did it help build that emotional charge that propels you forward to becoming the best you that you are capable of?  For me, there are many pieces of my past I regret. As much as I am introspective and reflective, I also strongly believe that you can’t unring the bell. I can’t undo what has been done but I can apologize and work on being a better brother, cousin, uncle, father, leader…

This Week’s Talk

At this point in the book, Scrooge is just starting out on his travels with the Ghost of Christmas Past.  They are arriving at the boarding school Scrooge spent his youth at.  As they arrive, the spirit asks Scrooge, “You recollect the way?”  Scrooge replies, “Remember it!”…”I could walk it blindfold.” A bit later in this scene, Scrooge reflects that the night before, there was a boy at his door singing Christmas Carols and Scrooge treated him poorly as well as gave him nothing for his efforts.  Reflecting as you did for last week’s exercise, do those thoughts align with the image(s) of you that you have chosen to become? It is a harsh experience for me to look back at who I was, things I did, and things I said. Much as Scrooge was rude to the boy, and to many others, I am afraid that I have left my own wake of negativity and unneeded pain. Did you look back and think…. I could have handled that better; I could have been more understanding; I could have been more compassionate; I could have shown them that I really do care?

This Week’s Assignment

I once read that the purest hell would be to see what our life COULD have been.  I reflect on that thought often. For me, like Scrooge, this reflection includes all three, past, present and future. I would like to expand on last week’s exercise of reflection and ask you, like Scrooge, what is it that you recall that you could do blindfolded but for whatever reason have left behind and no longer is a part of your life? We can’t live in the past. The focus is to look back at periods in your life, people, places, events… that resonated with you then. How did they help provide you with a sense of being as well as a sense of belonging? Ponder why it is that you left that part of you behind.  Scrooge ended up moving back home and it seems at that point he no longer maintained any connection with these fond friends of his from the boarding school.  When I went to college, I wanted to move away because some of my friends were not the best of influences and I wanted to focus on college and getting an education not partying and living the good life.  I only stayed in touch with a couple of friends from my childhood because those were the only relationships I still valued.  Sometimes you have to cut things loose to move ahead.  Sometimes we leave things behind for wrong reasons.  This week, I am asking you to start thinking about where your ghost of Christmas Past would take you, who would you see, what sorts of memories does that release? Are there people, activities, places from then that help you build that vision of who and what you want to be?  Can you make sense out of why this is no longer a part of your life and what it is that still resonates with you and reinforces the who and what that you want to be? See you next week…